Timmy the ThinkGeek monkey mascot in an F1 car
★ April 1st, 2026 — Annual Catalog Launch ★

The Most Definitely Real Products of the Year

"I tested every single one of these. Personally." — Timmy
⚠ Legal: All products are completely real. ThinkGeek is not responsible for wall-running injuries, Kryptonian encounters, or chrysalis-related metamorphoses. Timmy's endorsement is genuine and uncompensated (he just really likes the stuff).

Featured Drop

APRIL 1ST EXCLUSIVE

April 1st Catalog

8 exclusive items ALL 100% REAL
Kryptonite Ballpoint Pen
Apr 1st
NEW
Office Supplies · Defensive
Lab-certified 0.3% kryptonite content. Keeps Kryptonians at a respectful distance. Writes in smooth green ink. Warning label advises against use near journalists named Clark.
★★★★★ 4.8 (1,204)
Avatar Na'vi Kit
Apr 1st
Cosplay · Avatar: Fire and Ash
Articulated aluminum stilts + bioluminescent face mask. Adds 3.5ft of authentic Na'vi height. Now with 40% more bioluminescence than competing alien species kits.
★★★★☆ 4.4 (891)
Hades II Chrysalis Pod
Apr 1st
HADES II
Gaming · Hades II
Transform yourself as the Olympians intended. One-size cocoon with genuine Underworld aesthetics. Not responsible for which form you emerge as. Death is temporary. Style is eternal.
★★★★★ 5.0 (666)
Split Fiction Wall Runners
Apr 1st
GAME COLLAB
Footwear · Split Fiction
Nano-suction sole technology lets you run on vertical surfaces up to 90° incline. Works on drywall, brick, and glass. Not recommended for ceilings without the Pro+ ankle strap upgrade.
★★★★★ 4.9 (3,102)
Minecraft Creeper Disguise
Apr 1st
FILM
Costumes · Minecraft Movie
Complete foam block head, pixelated bodysuit, and matching leg covers. The disguise has a 1-in-20 chance of causing an explosion. We really can't stress the disclaimer enough.
★★★★☆ 4.2 (7,741)
Severance Lumon Kit
Apr 1st
TV Merch · Severance
Everything you need to become your best innie self. Includes Lumon ID badge, Macrodata Refinement handbook, novelty Waffle Party token, and finger traps. Your outie will never know.
★★★★★ 4.7 (2,256)
DOOM Pauldron
Apr 1st
DOOM 2025
Gaming · DOOM: The Dark Ages
Wearable die-cast steel shoulder armor, faithful to the game's mediaeval hellscape aesthetic. Includes authentic battle scoring, a glowing rune panel, and one (1) small spike. Hell-ready.
★★★★★ 4.9 (421)
Periodic Table Shower Curtain
Apr 1st
Housewares · Science
Now updated with all 118 confirmed elements. Study chemistry while you shower. Oganesson not visible until you open the window. This year's model finally includes correct electron configurations.
★★★★★ 4.8 (14,532)
Portal Gun USB-C Charger
Apr 1st
Tech · Aperture Science
100W GaN fast charger shaped like the Aperture Science Handheld Portal Device. Charges your devices at the speed of science. Companion Cube sold separately. The charger does not open portals. Probably.
★★★★★ 4.9 (6,029)
📦 Shipping Note: All April 1st orders ship from our warehouse in the Undisclosed Location Sector. Delivery time: 3–5 business days for items that exist. The Kryptonite Pen ships via lead-lined packaging to protect postal workers with alien heritage. The Chrysalis Pod ships disassembled; re-assembly may initiate transformation. ThinkGeek is not responsible for events occurring during chrysalis phase.